No Acceptance

Do you ever feel you're not accepted in Egypt? Egyptians will always see you as a tourist even if you lived there for over 20 years. I, myself, lived in Egypt for almost 3 years and it annoys me that I'm still approached, and greeted with "Welcome to Egypt ".

However, this blog is not about being a forever tourist.  Instead it's about being accepted into the Egyptian family.  A year ago I fell in love with my incredible Egyptian husband! He fills my life with love and happiness! I fill so blessed to have travel half around the world to be connected to him. 

Unfortunately,  I have not had the same connection with his family.  It has saddened me. It's like they don't trust me or even like me. My husband reassures me they think of me as family but I never feel that.  His sister's never message or call me. They only "maybe" ask how I am through him. 

Just yesterday,  I was home waiting for our family to arrive.  Every Friday night, our family comes to visit. 

Last night, my husband had to step out before their arrival. So, I was waiting for them alone. Two hours later than the expected time, everybody arrived at once.  I was shocked! I asked my husband how can you all arrive at the same time? His answer saddened me to my core. The family waited outside (they all have keys because it's their childhood home that we live in), until my husband arrived. They were talking and visiting outside the building entrance,  while I stopped everything to wait for them to arrive. 

So, can I ask you, how would you feel? Did I overreact? I was so upset and saddened that they didn't want to come into our home before my husband arrived back. I seriously did not know how to react.  My husband didn't understand why I was so upset and insulted.  I told him I was mostly hurt. They clearly showed they didn't want my company without him. (I have always regarded his sisters as kind and caring people.) In my American culture, this was very rude and disrespectful. 

If it wasn't for my husband coming in and trying to calm me down patiently, I would have left until I knew they left. This is the first time to experience this, however, I have heard many stories from my expat friends how their husbands families don't accept them into the family.  Why? We are all human and deserve their time and love. Why so much distrust?

I hope someday, I understand why this happened. Until next time...

Journal Thoughts

I always wanted to be married but since I found my love I am lonely. Moved alway from Alexandria where I made a life and friends.  Its been too lonely,  one because my husband works in another city/state. And its been very hard to make friends.  

One reason its been hard because I have not been working.  So I'm home a lot with the dogs. When my husband is home he's always out doing errands or hanging out with the boys. I'm left at home once again. 

My love just doesn't seem to understand I need companionship, too. 

He seems to think it's okay, if he hangs out with me for a couple hours or an afternoon,  it's okay to take off with the boys at night. But in fact it makes feel so lonely.  In my culture when your guy doesn't want to hang out with you because he doesn't like hanging out with you.  I get so insecure.  

I think now why my mom always said marry with the same culture. Or you have to deal with his culture and what he wants. 

I hate counting on my loves attention.  I wish he would wonder about me. And wish I was home to hang out with him.