No Acceptance

Do you ever feel you're not accepted in Egypt? Egyptians will always see you as a tourist even if you lived there for over 20 years. I, myself, lived in Egypt for almost 3 years and it annoys me that I'm still approached, and greeted with "Welcome to Egypt ".

However, this blog is not about being a forever tourist.  Instead it's about being accepted into the Egyptian family.  A year ago I fell in love with my incredible Egyptian husband! He fills my life with love and happiness! I fill so blessed to have travel half around the world to be connected to him. 

Unfortunately,  I have not had the same connection with his family.  It has saddened me. It's like they don't trust me or even like me. My husband reassures me they think of me as family but I never feel that.  His sister's never message or call me. They only "maybe" ask how I am through him. 

Just yesterday,  I was home waiting for our family to arrive.  Every Friday night, our family comes to visit. 

Last night, my husband had to step out before their arrival. So, I was waiting for them alone. Two hours later than the expected time, everybody arrived at once.  I was shocked! I asked my husband how can you all arrive at the same time? His answer saddened me to my core. The family waited outside (they all have keys because it's their childhood home that we live in), until my husband arrived. They were talking and visiting outside the building entrance,  while I stopped everything to wait for them to arrive. 

So, can I ask you, how would you feel? Did I overreact? I was so upset and saddened that they didn't want to come into our home before my husband arrived back. I seriously did not know how to react.  My husband didn't understand why I was so upset and insulted.  I told him I was mostly hurt. They clearly showed they didn't want my company without him. (I have always regarded his sisters as kind and caring people.) In my American culture, this was very rude and disrespectful. 

If it wasn't for my husband coming in and trying to calm me down patiently, I would have left until I knew they left. This is the first time to experience this, however, I have heard many stories from my expat friends how their husbands families don't accept them into the family.  Why? We are all human and deserve their time and love. Why so much distrust?

I hope someday, I understand why this happened. Until next time...

Journal Thoughts

I always wanted to be married but since I found my love I am lonely. Moved alway from Alexandria where I made a life and friends.  Its been too lonely,  one because my husband works in another city/state. And its been very hard to make friends.  

One reason its been hard because I have not been working.  So I'm home a lot with the dogs. When my husband is home he's always out doing errands or hanging out with the boys. I'm left at home once again. 

My love just doesn't seem to understand I need companionship, too. 

He seems to think it's okay, if he hangs out with me for a couple hours or an afternoon,  it's okay to take off with the boys at night. But in fact it makes feel so lonely.  In my culture when your guy doesn't want to hang out with you because he doesn't like hanging out with you.  I get so insecure.  

I think now why my mom always said marry with the same culture. Or you have to deal with his culture and what he wants. 

I hate counting on my loves attention.  I wish he would wonder about me. And wish I was home to hang out with him.

Egypt is Frustrating @ Times

I love Egypt in so many ways! Gorgeous weather,  the call of Pray, Amazing seas!, teaching English to Egyptians that crave to learn about native English speakers. 

However, when I want to express myself in my own native tongue,  it seems impossible. 

It's very frustrating when an Egyptian says they speak English and you trust that, but then you start telling them your frustrations and their English goes out the window.  They look at you with a confused look.  So you decide okay, let's try to explain in another approach, but then you see their confusion turns to a glazed look. And you know you have successfully lost them. 

The other day I was in an Orange store renewing my mobile modem and the customer service rep talk me into a deal.  At least I thought I was getting a deal until 2 days later.  My internet at home stopped working. I went back to the same Orange store to ask why it was not working. I asked for the same representative and proceeded to ask her why my internet stopped working.  She said, because it's done. I became quite upset, " what do you mean done? I just got it 2 days ago!" She repeated herself.  Absolutely horrendous customer service here at this store.  She actually said to me, " you think I'm a liar!" I looked at her and was astounded how she spoke to me as a customer.  I told my Egyptian husband,  he said it was terrible service and needed to speak to the manager.  I should have but felt I would not get my feelings heard, because lack of communication between our cultures. 

I'm just saying westerners are used to impeccable service or our money back. Here not so, only rare places offer some kind of compensation. Please Egypt work on your customer service and you will reap the rewards.

So Many Differences

 

There are so many differences from our culture to Egyptian. However, we are similar, too. We are human, we laugh and cry and eat and drink. Also Americans and Egyptians are both very friendly and social!  Both cultures are also, very nosy or love to rubberneck. Egyptians just take it to the next level. If for example someone has fallen or fainted, Egyptians are in seconds ready to help. Americans are a little more skeptical to assist right away.

Here are some other differences that I have observed over the years living in Egypt. 

You can go to any pharmacy and get almost any kind of medicine  and they will deliver straight to your door in less than 30 minutes.

Fruit and fresh juice is sold everywhere.

Egyptians cross highways and streets with no crosswalks.

In every middle class to upper class have a washing machine in their home. But usually no dryer only a clothesline outside one or two windows. 

Only private schools offer great education and small classrooms.

Stores don’t open until 10 am and usually close at 10 pm or later.

At least 75% of the population smokes. 

Public transportation is very popular and super cheap. 

Many Egyptians walk everywhere but on the streets not sidewalks. 

The roads and highways are closed when there's heavy fog. 

Tourist are charged 20 times more than Egyptians.

No rules in Egypt while driving, except signal lights or traffic police. 

Often there are checkpoints which are police stopping you if you speed on the highways. The only way you can continue driving is paying the fine on the spot.

Farmers sell their produce from their horse drawn wagons.

Every day you will see horse and carts in the middle of traffic. I absolutely love this!

You can sometimes see at least 3 people or whole families riding on a motorbike.  It's crazy!

I'm sure there are many other differences, this is just scraping the surface. 

Ka-Boom!

2020 in Egypt 

New Year's happened and went. Life was normal,  still single and going back and forth from home to school (work). Enjoying cafes and hanging out with friends.  Never thinking about how our world was about to change drastically in a few months. 

Ka-Boom!  The world was hit by a pandemic. A horrible virus hit globally, causing horrible sickness in the lungs. You could catch it from anyone. Life was never the same again. Everywhere, countries did not know how to prevent their people from getting affected, so the world stopped.

In Egypt the pandemic hit officially in mid-March. All schools closed, lockdowns and curfews begun. And the start of online education. As an international teacher, we were happy at first to be home and rest. Then the struggle of online teaching hit hard. Keeping students focused via internet was extremely difficult to say the least.

My world was extremely lonely,  Egypt was not completely shut down, but I stayed in and ordered everything  to be delivered. I even started online dating. I craved companionship. So within a month of Corona I bought my pug puppy, Miss Daisy. 

And had online companionship on Tinder, just corresponding with the opposite sex.

I was blessed, after 4 to 5 frogs, I met my soulmate,  my Hamid. It was a fast romance  but it felt calm and steady. I was always at ease and excited to see him. We started dating in end of May and Islamic marriage by early July. Now married for 6 months and still in marital bliss. Now, it's the end of this horrific and fabulous year...

Wish for only brightness to the darkness that so many suffered around the world this year!

Lonely Expat (Thoughts Aloud)

Sometimes I feel so alone here in Egypt especially at night or weekends. You hear your neighbors all around you laughing or yelling at their roommates (family or friends),  as you sit alone in your flat. Your only companion is your phone and a MBC2 film playing in the background (just to have some noise).

Even if you are married,  you have your Egyptian hubby but they go out frolicking around town with their many invites from friends. 

Many Egyptian husbands have jobs from afar and cannot be with their families but on the weekends.  This is when I feel most alone. I don't mind being alone most of the time. Especially, when I have a job. A teaching job, I am usually exhausted. When I get home, I just want to sleep.  So, taking care of another has no appeal whatsoever. 

However,  those days when I was a single expat, there were too many lonely times. I would have loved to come home and talk (or more like) complain about my day to my other half. I haven't had the opportunity to do that, yet. I am married now and when I worked,  I lived apart from my new husband.

I did not have the pleasure of coming home after a long day of working with screaming toddlers all day, to find an loving ear. 

My new husband is always good about listening to my woes but its from afar on video chat. You know its a big difference; video chat verses receiving a physical connection. So, I am lonely sometimes, even as a married expat,  in this great big city of 40 Million. Missing my friends of 2 years from a city by the sea.

Koshari

The staple of Egyptian cuisine.  Easy to make and available everywhere. Its piled high of elbow macaroni, lentils, chickpeas (hummus as the Egyptians call them), fried onions, pouring over tomatoe sauce (salsa as Egyptians call it), and splashing garlic vinegar for its last touch.

Koshary originated from India. Egypt adapted it from rice to macaroni noodles, but everything else is the same as the koshary in India. It originated in Egypt back in the mid-19th century. 

Koshari fills the belly in one bowl serving. You will not feel anymore hunger and if you do have a pocket of space in your stomach El Kodwa restaurant, they offer wonderful desserts.

El Kodwa restaurant has kind and quick service.  Before the main dish of koshari arrives to your table,  all the condiments are placed in front of you. Freshly baked pita chips, pickles,  tomato salad,  extra fried onions, and extra chickpeas. 

This small in hole El Kodwa restaurant is located in Al Dokki area. I have had many different koshari meals, but by far this is my favourite place to get the famous taste of Egypt.